Simple Words

I never realized the power of words till tonight. Words can be hurtful, words can be encouragement, words can say so many things. Words can be full of passion and love for the people around you. I am not someone who often just throws around useless words or at least I try not too. I try to be intentional in the things I say. I love using words to make people laugh and to bring people's spirits up. Too many times I find myself finding myself using my words to highlight the negatives in my life and so on. What I have been learning here is rethinking the things that come out of my mouth. One simple word can crush someone so quickly. Words of affirmation is my love language and I live that out every day. I really feel like I show people I love them by seeking them out and verbally telling them how much they mean to me. Writing simple notes of encouragement is something I strive to do. The funny thing about love languages is that even though you live out that love language in expressing it to others, you do not necessarily get it back that way. When I do receive that verbal affirmation it just means so much. Simple words of encouragement mean the world to me. Tonight I had that random act of love played out and it makes me think about how much I have. How lucky I am to be here in South Africa. It gives me hope and motivation to stay strong through my service site this week. I pray this week that I do not simply ask where God is in my frustrations at RivLife but am I going to be with God during my frustrations. Today one of our APU Professors that is visiting gave us a scenario. Saying rather than asking why isn't God with me in my day to day situations? But to ask am I willing to be with God and to follow him? That just hit me today. God is changing me in so many ways here, ways I never expected. 

Good Night South Africa!

Pushing through the hard times...

These past couple of days have been full of ups and downs. Especially yesterday was a hard one. What has been going on for the past couple of days is service sites and our global engagement class. Something that has been fueling my frustrations these last couple of days is lack of structure and planning. The service site I am currently with had been when I previewed it came off very structured and well planned. It is turning out to be not so true. While it is somewhat planned it is very much go with the flow. Now I some what knew this coming into the service site but I never intended for it to be this way. Last week we were strictly in the preschool which for me was frustrating because I signed up to be apart of going out into the community. The main reason I picked RivLife was the fact that I would be apart of support groups and such. As much as I was frustrated last week I kept my spirits up and continued to tell myself that it would change for the next week. 

Yesterday just started out a disaster. First off I missed the memo that we were to be leaving at 7:30 for our site than our usually 8 am call time. So I woke up at 7:20 and began to get ready when one of the girls on my team ran in and told me that they were leaving right now. I literally was in the middle of putting mascara on and was in disbelief and could only respond with are you kidding???? So I quickly ran out with my hair not done, one eye with mascara, no watch and soon came to realize that I had forgot the essential thing when working at a service site...DEODORANT! Now for me being caught off guard is not one of the thing I enjoy to much and the mornings is whole other situation. So originally we were to go out and do home visits that morning and I came to find that we needed to split into two groups. One would be at the preschool and the other home visits and we would switch on Friday. Well I ended up being in the group that was at the preschool. So again I had to hold my head up high and not get frustrated. Keep in mind at this point I was just not feeling the whole day. The thing that got me through that day was that it was a cool and that we did not have the blazing hot sun. I got separated from my group of two other girls and got put with the smaller kids of the preschool. All by myself I was to watch and instruct 12 two year olds. Whew...it was so scary. The lady that was suppose to help me ended up not so I was in charge of all these screaming out of control kids. My patience was for sure tested. Through it though I was able to just pray to God to get me through the day. Finally I had gotten to lunch and was able to unwind. We then went to the drop in center where the ladies who cook for us ended up being very blunt to me in a joke. For them it is culturally ok to say certain things when talking to people but what had been said just had hurt my feelings. I hate crying in public so I had to hold it in, the only thing was sucked was that I could go no where to be by myself. I ended up going out and playing some games with the older children to make the time pass. When I got back from that day I just collapsed and let it all out. I reminded myself that it is always a needed thing to have a good cry once in awhile. haha I was really happy to have people surrounding me through that rough day and being great encouragers. I thank God for that. 

After that I went for a good 3 mile run. It always amazes me that when your angry and frustrated you can run so fast! We had improved our time by 10 minutes. To get my mind off the day I went and saw The King's Speech. Which I thought was brilliant and inspirational. The movie was beautiful and I enjoyed it. I now know why it won best picture. 

So today I woke up a little weary about how the day would go. I promised to myself and God that I would give RivLife one more day. One more day to see if it could improve otherwise I would consider switching to another service site. I had been in a sad mood in the morning but was snapped out of it because our teacher for community engagement decided to join us all day. I told myself I can't be sad or he will know! I was some what encouraged when they told us that we would be going out to support groups all day. FINALLY the time had come. Needless to say today ended up being a great day and I will continue to stay there. What we did today was go out into the community to a lady's home where a group of gogos (Grandmas) meet once a week. They started the support group because many of them were sitting at home having nothing to do and lonely. So they come together and make crafts that they sell for income and also run a soup kitchen for the children who don't have food to eat during the days. At first it was sort of awkward we were all sitting outside this person house and not saying much. We introduced ourselves and asked questions but still it was pretty quiet. They have a garden out back and so we got to go back and take this intense gardening tool and cut down all the corn husks. It was so much fun. You got to get all your aggression out. After that me and another girl on my team were given the opportunity to make about 100 sandwiches for the soup kitchen. I love doing the simple things. For me doing things for people helps me feel like I am making a difference. After that I got to have my first traditional Zulu meal. I believe it is called Samp (?) and beans. Pretty much is mushed up corn and beans put together. It was actually really good. We also passed a jug of this cornmeal drink around and I was brave enough to try it. My germ freak side came out only imagining how many were being spread around. So I braved it and drank it. While that was going on a fairly new AIDS support group was meeting. We were not allowed to join in today because our teacher needed to assure them about a few things. Some of them were nervous about us joining in and hearing their stories. But my teacher Francis assured them that we would respect the things they needed to say. So next week we will be apart of it. I loved the gogos because they just love being around us. I cannot wait for next week for them to show us how to make all of the cool crafts. 

After that we went back to the drop in center where new cooking ladies came in today. I was able to have conversations with a lot of the workers and ask lots of questions. I even learned how to make Zulu bread. Which I cannot wait to try out when I come home. The day was full of hope and encouragement. I am excited for the weeks to come and to be more connected with the people of RivLife. Tomorrow we will be going to another AIDS support group. I have no clue what to expect but I am ready for anything. I continue to pray that God opens my eyes up to what I need to see and focus on. I pray that the days to come are filled with laughter and positivity. I know that he has me there for a reason and I need to be willing to follow what he has laid our for me. 

Good Night from South Africa

P.S. were halfway through the semester! Cannot even believe it! 

Thunderstorms

Well I finished my first week of service sites and I am loving it already. First I have to admit that at the end of these three weeks I will be exhausted to no end. Service sites are draining but are worth it in every way. To give a little overview of what happened my first two days working at RivLife I will explain what we did. When we got there first we went and met with the boss of the organization and had a mini orientation. He basically briefed us on what we should expect when going out in the community and precautions. What I was surprised about was that our boss decided to ask each of us about our majors and what we plan on doing in our future. He wants to get us involved in the RivLife programs that he feels we will be able to do well in. That made me very excited. 

The last two days have been us doing random things around RivLife. We mainly worked with the preschool and helping the teacher run it. I am still amazed that one teacher is in charge of 30 five year olds. I do not know how she does it. So we helped her with feeding them, teaching them their alphabet and numbers. The little kids are adorable, you cannot help but smile when your around them. I am not even a big kids person and my heart went out to them. I realized being at this service site God is challenging me and putting me outside my comfort zone. You just can't simply get angry at the kids there. Their smiles are absolutely contagious. 

In the afternoons we go to the drop in site which is pretty much an after school program for older kids. We helped in serving meals to the kids when they get out of school. Most of the kids that come there will not get a meal that night so they provide them with food. Everyday there is an emphasis on something. Somedays it will be helping with homework, teaching life skills or having a soccer coach to come in and work with the kids. It is a great site to be working with. The kitchen staff is hilarious and make me laugh so much. They are four older ladies with the best sense of humor. I cannot wait to get to know them better.

I am excited to get out into the community and do the social worker aspect of the organization. We will be able to make it to the support groups in the next coming week. Something I noticed while being at service sites is that I am finally having true culture shock. I am getting out of the APU bubble of AE and seeing what life is among the community. Something I noticed was that at the end of the day when the preschoolers were getting picked up it was not the parents that came to pick them up but was their brothers and sisters. It just broke my heart to see that 10 year olds were coming to pick their little brothers and sisters up after school and making sure they got all their things and signing them out. It is mind blowing because those things would never happen back in the states. I am learning and will soon be experiencing the family dynamics in SA. Most of the children take on the parenting roles in the house because their parents are sick with HIV/AIDS or our working. It amazes me to see how much responsibility is put onto a small child. Something else that is shocking is that physical punishment is accepted in SA. To discipline or punish a child smacking the tops of their hands is completely acceptable. A boy in the preschool misbehaved and one of the staff came in the room and smack the tops of both his hands and sent him into crying. The sad thing is that they expect is and have their hands already out to receive it. It is little things that you experience that make you feel like you are not from there. I continue to take on the challenge of experiencing new things.

Today we went to an indoor market and were able to get many souvenirs. It was fun to go into the markets and be able to barter. I was pretty good at getting the prices down low. I got such fun gifts I can hardly wait to give them. Tonight when we got back onto campus there was an epic thunder and lighting storm. We all sat outside and watch the huge bolts of lighting. Even ran and got soaking wet through the rain. It is one of those nights you will always remember. Tomorrow we are off to the beach and market again and I am just ready to be able to relax! 

Good Night from South Africa.

Patience...ugh

Well you would of guessed that once again God is challenging me to be patient. Right now all I have to say is that I hate being patient. It is the hardest thing for me to do. I don't know how many times God has revealed this to me over the years but I still have yet to learn what true patience is. I think it took me coming all the way to South Africa to really begin to grasp the idea of patience. So I continue on this adventure of learning patience and continue to learn from God what that looks like. There are things right now in my life that is just continually on my mind in where God is allowing for me to learn patience. Right now in my life there are so many unknowns for the upcoming fall and it just stresses me out. I love being able to plan out my future so having the unknown just sitting there with me not being able to do anything about it just sucks. So I only hope that giving over the frustrations and letting go of the need to control the situations it will all work out.

Tomorrow we start Service Sites and I am beyond excited. I am a little nervous just because there is so much that is unknown. I cannot even imagine what we will be learning. I think I am so eager because this is where everyone says you truly fall in love with South Africa and where so much growth occurs. I am just so happy to finally be able to get off campus and enter into the communities. I am working at the organization called RivLife. I will be working along side of six other girls for the next four weeks. I am really excited because the girls that are in my group I do not know super well, so I am excited for the chance to get to know them on a deeper level. What we will be doing there is working with a preschool in the morning and then in the afternoons we will be pairing up with social workers and going out into the community on home visits. We will be sitting in when they are conducting counseling sessions. I am just so excited to see how the community is and to start relationships. We have a class right now that we are doing with our service sites called community engagement. It is a fascinating class where we get to understand how to truly come in and effectively change a community. Our teacher is all the way from Kenya and is just such a joy to listen too. He has a smile that is absolutely contagious. I am honestly just ready to get my hands dirty and to experience the unknown. (Sorry I keep saying the unknown. HA)

So I did something crazy and decided to join my father in running a half-marathon. Yes a HALF-MARATHON, am I out of my mind??? Now here is the thing I am not a runner what so ever, but I wanted to do something for this summer that was literally impossible. Something I never thought I would be able to accomplish. So of course I choose the one thing I despise. I then found out that my dad is doing one on June 4th and he began to get me a training schedule and everything. So now it is official that I am doing this. I am in day 3 of 13 weeks. I am already incredible sore because I am so out of shape. I have already found it to be insanely challenging and every time I run it is a battle to get to the end. I only hope it gets easier. At our campus we have a long driveway about 2.5 miles up to our campus and it is all up hill. I have done that the past two days and almost died. But I did it and made it through. I hope to be able to accomplish it without almost collapsing. Tomorrow I will run 3 miles to Coffeeberry which is a strip mall down the road. I only hope that I will be able to accomplish it. I am fortunate enough to have my best friend Annaliesa to do this with me. She has been such a great encouragement to me and the one getting me up all those stupid hills :) 

Today is the first day of Lent and I am still not sure what I will be giving up yet. I am trying to make it something that will truly be something challenging but will focus me on God. 

I am reading this book called Captivating and am loving it. What I read tonight was just so encouraging. "Beauty is essential to God. No--that's not putting it strongly enough. Beauty is the essence of God"

Good Night from South Africa

Being Fearless

I know I am quoting Taylor Swift as the title of my blog but I cannot help it she just is so dang catchy. Anyway I have not blogged in a long time and I apologize for that. Things around here have gotten very busy. We currently are in finals week, papers and exams are just consuming my life. I do however love the fact that this will be the last week of school and then we are DONE! It blows my mind that we are already done with school. It went by so fast! As for my time right now my weeks have been dealing with being fearless. Being fearless in every part of my day. I realized about a week or two ago that I was not taking advantage of the many things I was being surrounded by. I was being to cautious and too safe. I was concern with not taking risks and not putting myself out there. So it has been since then that I have began to be fearless. To not look back on the things I have done or the mistakes I have made. And since having that mindset I have been having one of the best weeks since being here. Allowing for yourself to not get stuck on wondering who or what you have done, allows for you to be free. The people that God has been bringing into my life just amazes me. I feel so fortunate to be in these friendships and have never had so much laughter and joy throughout my days. Something that I have been noticing is just how much God is working in my life. I have noticed changes in myself of things I never thought could be changed. Prayers are continually being answered and I find myself just speechless in the presence of God. I am on the constant basis of just uncontrollably smiling when thinking about how good God is. The other day I woke up early and went on a run by myself and just thought to myself how lucky I am to be here and in thinking about that I had this incredibly huge smile as I was running. I was so lost in thought that it took me awhile to realize I was smiling so big and that if anyone would of saw me they would of thought I was nuts. The encouragement I am getting from people both here and back home is just beyond amazing. All my fears and anxiety about the future is coming tumbling down. I am so giddy and excited for what the future holds. Even though right now I am in the mist of hard times and unanswered questions I continue to pray that God will prevail. I know that he knows what is best and even though I may not like that answer, in the end things will work out. On that note this past weekend was spectacular. We got to go on a canopy tour through the jungle. I had been zip-lining before but nothing like this. We got to be mini Tarzans and Janes and swing through the jungles of Africa. I loved every second of it. It was incredible to be zip-lining hundreds of feet in the air with the most breathtaking views. Check out my pictures if you have not yet. I told myself that this would be the best job ever. Soon to find out that a place by my house is opening a canopy tour. I went and applied ASAP. I keep checking my emails to see if I have gotten any replys back. So we will see what unfolds. Today we went to a Sangoma which is South Africa's equivalent to a witch doctor. Now before everyone goes and freaks out the man that we saw was purely an herbalist. So completely safe. But for my life and teachings of Jesus class we went to a seminar for the first half of the day learning about the Zulu religion. The man that spoke was a converted Christian who came from a Zulu background. He showed us the process of bringing a Zulu person over to Christ. In the Zulu culture they believe in Sangomas for healing. So we went today to go visit a man who was a practicing Sangoma. We went up in this tiny village and into a tiny room filled with herbs and special mixes that can cleanse you or make you fall in love etc. It was crazy to me to think that people come to this man everyday and spend money for things that are all a sham. Some of the things you had to do were insane. It was a neat experience and I am grateful for it. We start our service sites next week and I am so excited for it. I am ready to be challenged and stretched. I am just so excited to be able to interact with the community. Now all that holds me back is three final exams and I am FREE!