Easter in Africa

“We don’t feel that we are irreplaceable, so we try and make ourselves useful. We don’t believe we are beautiful, so we work hard to be outwardly beautiful or we “let ourselves go” and hide behind a persona that has no allure. We try so hard, and in so many ways, to protect our hearts from further pain.” 

I have been in South Africa for exactly three months and seven days. I know every blog I have been writing I have said how I am amazed that I have been here for that long. But it still doesn’t even feel real to me. A week from tomorrow I will  be getting on a plane and leaving this beautiful place. A place where God has revealed himself to me on a constant basis. I have been challenged, pushed, and loved this whole trip. I have learned a whole heck of a lot more than I ever imagined. One thing that he has really taught me was to really look at who I am. To look at the person I have become and the person I want to be in the future. This semester has been focused on myself, which has been really interesting in having time to do that. I think when I am back on campus I tend to lose myself. To lose sight on who I am and in making sure I am constantly being challenged. I have been reading the book Captivating which has been honestly eye opening. It has allowed for me to realize that I am not the only one that thinks certain things. It has really helped me understand the woman I want to be one day. It makes me understand a woman’s heart in ways I never had even realized. I came across this passage in the chapter I was reading. It is something that I have realized I have always struggled with. It is something that I have found that every woman at one point struggles with. In this chapter is talks about how we have come to think that there is something wrong with us when we are alone. And we put up guards and push people away because we feel as though we don’t deserve it and so on. God has been revealing to me that I need to push away the guards I have built up over the years. That I need to stop working so hard in proving myself to people. And to let myself free from constant criticism I put on myself. Being in Africa I have noticed that I don’t feel like I am carrying a huge weight anymore. I have been able to get up every morning and be able to walk out and hold my head up high. To be able to enjoy every second of the day I am presented with. To not have my worries be filling my head all day. I have been able to focus on great friendships. And I look forward for the friendships in the future. 

We haven’t done much in Cape Town other than attending class. Class sometimes feels like it drags on forever. I have never looked at my watch so much during a lecture. I have been so over school that I got everything done early. So I am a FREE woman as I like to say around campus. I got my final paper done a week early. It feels great knowing that I am actually now done with school. Our last class is on Friday. We are going to Robben Island on Thursday to see Mandela’s prison cell that he spent 27 years in. I am really excited to be able to see it. We are suppose to be climbing table mountain tomorrow. It is optional and I still am debating whether or not to climb it. It is a very hard hike up and pretty much a stair master for two hours. YUCK! I have not decided if it is worth it to me. Who knows I probably will end up deciding on doing it. meh. Next post I will tell everyone whether not I can walk. On Saturday we left our homestay family for a bed and breakfast. It was hard to leave them. I had gotten so used to living with a family and getting home cooked meals. We got to spend all of Good Friday with them. We went to a Good Friday Service. Which lasted two and half hours. It is a baptist church, but in other words it was a true southern baptist church. It was great though to experienced it and I loved people dancing in the aisles. We went over to our host mom’s mom house. Where two other APU girls were staying and had lunch. They traditionally have pickled fish for lunch on easter weekend, but we lucked out and got just regular fish. Our mom was like people usually don’t like it so we made you something else. We got hot cross buns as well. In homestays we got so spoiled and well fed. I have never eaten so much in the span of a week. We got to spend the rest of Good Friday down by the beach where are host brother and sister were camping. It was a blast just being able to hang out by the water and sit by a fire. On Saturday we got to sleep in and then went to the mall with our host mom and she got us good old McDonalds. She was the sweetest and bought both me and Kelsey necklaces for us to always remember them. It made me truly appreciate how kind they were to us. We ended up getting them flowers and a Cd as a thank you. The best thing that I loved was when we were saying goodbye and walking away she was like we love you both. It made my heart melt. 

We are now at the bed and breakfast till Sunday. It has been a blast being able to be off by ourselves with fourteen other girls. Easter Sunday was interesting. It was my first Easter away from home. It was a little sad but I was glad I had people to celebrate it with. We got up on Easter and did a devotional. At that moment it made me realize just how great the people I am surrounded by at APU. Some of us took the train down to the city and ate lunch by the waterfront. It was rainy and cold in Cape Town. So we got lattes and pasta of course! I loved it, it was the best pasta I have ever tasted. We just hung down there and walked around. We had to take taxis as well and I looked at my friend and was like, “girl we are in Africa and we are taking taxis around the city like we have been living here for years” she just laughed at me. It just blows my mind sometimes. We went back and got dinner and all watch a movie. It was a fun day. I will always remember my Easter in Africa. 

I found out that I will officially be going shark cage diving on Saturday. EEKKK! We have to wake up at like five in the morning too. I am still freaking out about it. I had another nightmare last night of getting eaten by a shark. I am never someone to turn down an adventure. So pray for me. 

P.S. Sorry for such a delay in blog posts. Currently my internet was not letting me log into blogger so therefore no posting. It randomly let me log into today! YAY! 

Have I really been in South Africa for three months?

As I was sitting on the bus today as we went along the peninsula of South Africa I could not help but think about how I actually am in South Africa. I sometimes get these moments where I think back to the things I have done and to actually realize where I am. You get in these routines of doing the same things over and over and sometimes forget to enjoy the places you are around. Today I realized just how amazing the opportunity I was given to study abroad in South Africa. This program allows for you to do things most students would never get a chance to do. It made me thankful for all the amazing people I have met here and the relationships I have built. 

The other day I had to tell someone how old I was and it was the first time since turning twenty that I had to say my age out loud. I took a step back and was like wow I am actually twenty years old? I am growing up. It made me realize just how much I have accomplished and done and I am only twenty years old. With regards to South Africa I cannot help but be proud of myself. Proud of being courageous and adventurous. I always dreamed of going to California and to travel the world, but I never quite realized that I would actually do it. Going to school in California has been a tough but rewarding thing. I still have to pinch myself that I get to be out there nine months out of the year. The same goes with South Africa. When I look on a map and realize just how far away from home I am. Man oh man do I go, “am I really doing this?” I never thought I would learn so much from this country and the people who live here. I have learned not only about South Africa and its people but a lot about myself. Learning about just how much God has in store for me. He has challenged me so much this semester and has constantly surprised me. 

The relationships with people that I have formed are beyond anything I could imagine. I am still wanting to cling on to what we have here. Cause I know that once we get to campus everything will change. No matter what the group we have here will be changed. I hope that we still all cling on to one another but coming back to old friend groups and so on will be hard. Another thing that I thought about today was the places I have been. Thinking about AE felt like it happened a million years ago. I still remember the first day we arrived there and thinking about all that would happen. I love remember all the fun things that happened, the food, the staff, my chalet and so on. That place will always be special because it was the root of where all my friendships were built. The hilarious moments that were shared. I had almost forgotten about our Safari weekend and how it was literally the best weekend I have had so far in South Africa. The community that was experienced will be something I will never forget. Thinking about it now brings a smile to my face! 

Cape Town has been great so far. The thing that is hard is being separated from people all the time. We have been split into two groups, so seeing each other has been limited. Something that I have noticed is that it is feeling like it is time to leave South Africa. My time here is coming to an end. Some days I get so excited to go home and then some days I am so sad to be leaving. I know in the end that I have learned a great deal from this country and will be leaving forever changed. I cannot wait to be reunited with my family and to see my precious little maggie. Only fourteen more days till I am back in the USA. 

Goodnight! :)

Living in Oceanview

So I am currently spending my first week in Cape Town in the township of Oceanview with a family. To be honest before coming in I was extremely nervous because I had no idea what to expect. I did not know what kind of conditions I would be living in and what type of family. I also was nervous about what if we cannot talk about anything. I absolutely hate awkward conversations. Anyway I just was praying that this experience would grow me as a person and that I would be able to create bonds with people I would never expect. Well of course my prayers were answered even beyond what I had asked. 

We met our homestay family at a dinner that was put on by the township. We walked up to table number four and I was greeted by a motherly looking woman who told me her name was Bernadette. She is in her 40’s and is a colored woman. In South Africa there is whites, blacks, and coloreds. Colored people are people who are made up of both blacks and whites. The township of Oceanview is purely made up of Coloreds. The majority of Cape Town is both Afrikaans and Coloreds. The Terry family is made up of Bernadette, her husband (who name I still cannot pronounce), her 12 year old son named Robin and her precious 6 year old daughter Aimee. The dinner was delicious and then they had the youth of Oceanview do a talent show kind of thing. Which was full of hilarious brittany spears acts?, an awesome michael jackson dancer, and some sweet break dancing. When we were off to go to their home my heart was beating. We drove through the neighborhood and I could only think about where the heck would we be staying. The township is full of cardboard shacks and then small cement houses. The neighborhood honestly reminded me of what the projects would be like at night. Bunch of teenagers all roaming around the streets at night. We pulled up to the house and it looked nice from the outside small but comfortable. We were greeted to this ratty little fluffy dog that apparently had adopted itself into the family and claimed their home as its territory. I wanted to pet it so bad but it was way to dirty and has literally dreads hanging off of it. It sits in front of their door all day and teases me, cause all I want to do it squeeze it and love it. One of these days I swear I am going to just get a razor and shave it and then clean it up. Anyway we get into the house and it is beautiful. I had been in townships before and had never expected for it to be that nice. It has a living room with a TV and a kitchen with an island and everything. It is small of course but still has everything you need. Even were surprised to them having a shower. We are currently staying in the kids rooms. My comforter has sailboats all over it and their is a hannah montana puzzle that sits right on the desk beside me. My expectations were very much surpassed. The funny thing was that friend from the previous South Africa semester had put up pictures of her homestay and I had looked at them. The funny thing is that it is my homestay family. So coming into the house I was like “Woah I totally knew what your house looked like before I came.” 

Our first night in the house was a windy one. The wind here in Cape Town is INSANE. I am from the windy city but it definitely beats out Chicago any time. So it was hard to sleep the first night. Something I never expected was just how giving the people are. They are so easy to get along with and conversations are great. We have been able to be comfortable in the house. Our host mom makes the best food too. It has been awesome being able to have someone make good home cooked food just for you. They have been great in taking us out to do stuff. There was a carnival in the township put on by the high school. So we got to do that on Saturday night. It was crazy though because its not like the carnivals back home. First off I looked like the stupid white person because going into the carnival they have to pat you down for guns and such but I did not realize this and skipped everyone and walked ahead. Only to get ran down by security. Oops. haha. For once in my life I felt like the extreme minority. The only other white people we saw that night was the other APU people. It was a great night though. Got to eat popcorn, ride the scrambler, and watch the little girl Aimee run through the carnival wanting everything in sight. Aimee is absolutely hilarious and super adorable. She is such a little character. She is super sassy but sweet. She has made this whole experience so much fun. It makes me realize just how it would be to have a younger sister. 

On Sunday we went to church with our family, because it was Palm Sunday their church did something very unique. We went around the entire township and sang songs and simply praised God. They had a truck with the worship band in the back and we all followed them and walked around the entire township for about two hours. They had a stop where they pray over the township and then the little kids did a dance. It was neat to see the people who would be listening or watching from their windows and houses. Some even came out and joined. I had never been apart of something like that but it showed me just how dedicated these people are to the Lord and just how much they are willing to serve the Lord. Something I also noticed was just how divided the township was. You could not even notice just how drastic it is that the level of income is through the town. One second their is shacks made out of cardboard and then a two story house. Cape Town has made me realize just how well off I am and how it is going to be so hard coming back home. Something that I have been learning is just how people like my homestay family are simply happy with just have the essentials in life. I have been living with just the essentials these past couple of months and it has made me realize that us Americans are never satisfied with anything. We are always craving more. I was talking to someone and they were saying how previous semesters you will go home and your home will look like a palace. I never expected to learn this much from homestays but I am continually being challenged. I go to bed every night and think about where I am and how people grow up living this way their whole lives. I think about why did I get so lucky? Why do I deserve all the things I have? I have been to continually processing it over these past couple of days. Sunday afternoon the kids took us to this farm that has animals and such but also a bunch of nice shops too. It literally is right across the street from Oceanview and is drastically different. First off what you notice is majority of the visitors are white. The level of sophistication has come up and the price of things too. The only people of color there is the people who work the restaurants. It just blew my mind in how drastic it was. The thing that just made me so mad was that I knew that half these people have no idea that right across the street their is a township of people struggling to get by. It made me think about how many times I have been ignorant of what other people go on or how I have been those people in the restaurants. These are the issues I am constantly learning everyday I am here. 

Later that night we got to go to this beach where you can see penguins. Yes I know what you thinking, “Penguins in South Africa?” In Africa you can ride in the back of trucks without getting pulled over. So we all hop in the back and got to have the scenic tour around the coast line. It was the best experience to have. We got the beach with the penguins and you got to see 100’s of them. It was a blast to see the daddy penguins up close huddled over the eggs while the mothers sat by their sides. The sunset was beautiful and the moon on the ocean was something like a movie. Our family stopped and got us ice cream cones to eat on the drive back and ended our night with watching Spiderman 3 on the TV. It is those moments where I miss being home with my family curled up watching movies together. 

Today we had our first day of class which was a bummer. Having an entire month without class and then going back just honestly sucks. But it is only for two weeks I guess I will survive. We are going on a bunch of field trips which makes the time go by much faster. We tried to climb table top mountain this weekend but it was so windy that we were not advise too. The hike is pretty intense so I was glad we did not. I know I will eventually need to do it because it is absolutely beautiful up there. So instead we went into Cape Town and got our nose pierced. I know isn’t it crazy, I still am in shock I did it. I love it and it is better than I actually thought. I was freaking out before and had to hold my friends hand to get through it. Surprisingly it did not hurt only made your eyes water. The thing that stinks is that it constantly feels like you have a booger in your nose. haha  Still trying to get used to it, I forget it is there and I end up rubbing my nose. We went around the city the rest of the day. I swear we walked like five miles. The only big thing I have left is shark cage diving. Which I am freaking out over. I am scared out of my mind. Anyway I will try my best to keep everyone updated. The internet here is horribly slow and very limited. Goodnight from South Africa. :) 

Am I out of my mind?

Well it is official I can now say that I have jumped off the world’s tallest bridge! It was incredible and I loved every second. Well about a week ago we left African Enterprise for good old Cape Town. It was a weird thing to say goodbye to my “home” for the last three months but at the same time I knew that we were moving on the better places. As we waved goodbye to all the people that have been in my life I could not help but think about how much I have learned here in South Africa. Also how I have been living in another country on my own for three months. It blows my mind that I have been doing this on my own. That South Africa has become familiar and a place that is comfortable. A place that is constantly challenging. I have learned a great deal. As I left Pietermaritzburg I knew that I would be living with a lifetime of knowledge. I was able to serve along side the wonderful and hardworking people. Who living in the present and our thankful for each day they are given. I was able to be immersed in a city that is not obsessed with materialistic things and to focus on just me. I have learned so much and will miss it greatly. 

So we had an amazing travel week down the cape. Where we saw the most beautiful places of South Africa. I mean I literally forgot where we were. Going from the jungle to the ocean was a huge change. Even the price of home went up drastically. Mansion after mansion we past. I realized right then how much Pietermaritzburg had an effect on me and just how hard it will be to come back to the states. Seeing all I have seen has made me realize just how lucky I am but at the same time just how ignorant people are of what is happening in the world. I am still trying to process over all I have seen and learned and just what I will do when I get home. 

So we took the scenic garden route all the way to Cape Town. What we got to do was of course bungee jump. AAHHHH it was so great. I was not nervous what so ever, I just was so pumped to do it. A lot of people were freaking out and it was such a fun experience. I still continue to think about the initial view of what it looked like when I first jumped off. The feeling I felt when experiencing six seconds of free fall. The scariest part for me was dangling there waiting for the guy to come and bring me back up. I was just waiting there thinking about how these straps are holding me from falling. I was like oh my God please protect me. I just cannot wait to show the video to my family. My mom still thinks I am out of my mind. The next day we went caving through some of the oldest caves in South Africa. I did the adventure course which entailed going through some of the smallest spaces ever and army crawling on my stomach. So much fun though. In the afternoon we visited a wildlife reserve and saw cheetahs, lions, and crocodiles. Some people even went and got to pet the baby cheetahs. Travel week was a blast, so much driving but worth it. 

We are now here at Cape Town and met our History and Culture teacher and have been sight seeing. We got to do a walking tour of the whole city and see where Nelson Mandela gave his first speech when getting out of jail, the slave lodge, castle of good hope and so on. What I am liking so far is that we finally have good food. I had my first taste of Hummus in three months and it was AMAZING! I never realized how much I missed it. We start our week of homestays tomorrow and I am a little nervous. Not sure what to expect but I am excited to meet them. I know that I will learn so much from them and cannot wait to have this experience. 

Tonight our president of our school came out and spoke to us tonight and had some great words of wisdom. He told us that we need to realize that we have changed that our lives have been changed. We need to go home and be the new us. We need to leave our old lives and move into the new. That made me realize just how much I have changed here and how God challenging me has really allowed me to grow. I am so excited to go back and to tell people about all I have learned and to inform them on what is going on in South Africa. With that being said I cannot wait to tell you more about Cape Town. So Goodnight from SA!

P.S. Getting my nose pierced hopefully tomorrow :) 

RivLife comes to an end...

So I realize that I have slacked 100% in blogging about my service site. I apologize to everyone in advance. I hope I can do the best in catching everyone up in what has happened over the past couple of weeks. Well since I last blogged I talked about the frustrations I was having about my service site. Well God never ceases to amaze me. I have come to love RivLife and I am walking away with a life changing experience. All my expectations have been broken down but at the same time completely built back up in ways I could never imagine. God used my time at RivLife as a way to push me to limits I have never been before. To throw me so out of my comfort zone to the point where I have wanted to just give up. I never imagine it to be this challenging but when I look back at my time at RivLife it has allowed me to see myself in a whole new way and to ignite passions I have never had before. It has been a bittersweet ending to RivLife in a way where I feel like I am ready to move on to the next things in South Africa but at the same time my heart still feel pulled back to the women, children, and workers at RivLife. I feel like I just started getting into deeper relationships and then we are saying goodbyes. To be honest I just feel like I have not understand just how much RivLife has meant to me until I will leave South Africa. A lot of people back on campus right now are devastated to be done with service sites and are already craving to go back. I am stuck in this in between feeling of missing the people at RivLife but feeling this sense of needing to move on. Knowing that what I learned there has been accomplished and it will alway be a piece of me. Sometime I think back and wonder why I did not have the amazing life changing don't ever want to leave service site and team but in the end I know that my team and the people of RivLife is the experience God wanted me to have. I must not live in the regrets but live in the precious memories. I am so thankful for the team of girls I got to work with and how each of us truly gave something unique to RivLife. I have enjoyed getting to know all of them on a deeper level and we have had such amazing times together. So that is just how I am feeling on my last day at service sites. I really want to talk about some stories that happened over the last couple weeks.

The biggest thing that was impactful for me was home visits. I give so much respect for social workers, in going out and seeing just what they have to see all the time. Last Friday we went out into a whole new community and did some home visits. I was astonished at the things I saw. The first home we went to was one room about the size of most people bathrooms back in the states. This women who was an older woman had no fingers on her hands. She could not move from her bed at all and to go to the bathroom she resorts to going in a pan that she slides under her bed. For the social worker it was the first time she had been meeting this women. This women lived with five other people in that house, there were dirty dishes everywhere and little kittens were laying along side her. She could not hear very well and I am pretty sure was not all together. They kept asking her simple questions of how old she was and her name. She could answer none. They even asked her if she would want to go to an retirement home but she refused. It amazed me that this women simply did not even want to accept a better life. The thing that broke my heart was when she began to cry. As soon as I saw that I had to hold back the tears. Right then I was able to see a women in her twenties, smiling and living life to the fullest. It was then that I came back to reality. Sometimes I have these instances where I can see people when they were at their happiest. This women I knew was once a very happy and active women and now was sitting in a shack all by herself. Another thing that happened at service sites was a home of a women we visited. She had to be in her midthirties when we saw her. The first thing I saw was a women completely naked except for a diaper on laying on the concrete floor. She had a blanket and pillow by her side and had absolutely no energy. She was shaking as she was drinking out of her water bottle. I had this huge burden on me to pray for her that entire time. She was so frail and out of it that I thought that she might die while we were there. Despite her condition her home was in great shape. It was well cleaned and put together. Walls lined with bible verses and so on. I spotted a bible laying on her bed. Her sister was there and she lived across the road and took care of her sister. I was again amazed of how well she took care of her. Most of the houses we saw they were filthy and left a mess. This woman truly cared after her sister. We were asked to try and move her up to the bed. So some did that while we figured out just what was wrong with her. They think that she had TB in the spine. She was in immense pain while we were there. The social worker said that on Monday they were going to take her to the hospital to check out her condition. We were asked to pray for her and so we did. We grabbed her hand and prayed and were about to get up and leave when she said why don't you pray for my legs they hurt too. So we did that and said our goodbyes. We were all a little distrait at what we had seen. We went on a Friday to her home and came back on Monday when our social worker told us that we would be going to pick up the woman to go the hospital but that she had passed away on Saturday. We all just were hit like ton of bricks. It happened so fast. It was then that we realized that we were suppose to be at that women's house for a reason. We were suppose to be with her in her final hours of life and to pray for some healing and relief from the pain on her final hours on earth. Honestly I hope that this women is with God right now and relieved of her pains. This home visit effected me the most. It taught me to take a step back and realize that death is a daily occurrence for the people of South Africa and especially the rural places. The last most influential home visit was to a man right near our Gogo's support group. We were told that he had asthma and that his child was trying to be taken away by the abusive mother. So we were going to check out the situation. When we got their the social worker demanded to see the treatment for his asthma. She was really smart to do that because it ended up coming out that he was HIV positive. It was brought to our attention that we were the first people he had told to be infected with it. I was astounded because we had been witnessing and hearing stories how hard it is for people to be open about that stuff. We were able to converse with him about it and invite him to join the support group down the road and so on. He said that talking to us just allowed for him to feel more free and as a huge burden was lifted. Side note on that his kid we were convinced was a boy but found out minutes before leaving that it was a girl. It was a really funny thing to actually realize it. From this I learned the power of a support group and how much it can help people affected. I have a passion to begin to start support groups and so on. I find it so amazing what joy it brings peoples lives.

This weekend we were able to do a three day safari. It was the most amazing thing I have ever done. It was like living in the real lion king. I was constantly finding myself caught in a daze of being pinch me....is this even real? I got to see elephant, rhino, lions, impala, buffalo, wildebeest, pumba, hyenas, zebra and so many more. Seeing animals in the wild is great, and we were on constant hunts to find all of them. We saw 4 out of the big 5! Pretty darn good for a single group to see all that. We almost got charged by a elephant, we saw a group of lions trying to hunt down a giraffe and so much more. We slept in tents with mosquito nets. I actually felt like I was on a safari. We also got the best food ever! Made me miss home so much. I literally did not want to leave that place. I fell in love with it!

P.S. A month from today I will be flying home! 

Simple Words

I never realized the power of words till tonight. Words can be hurtful, words can be encouragement, words can say so many things. Words can be full of passion and love for the people around you. I am not someone who often just throws around useless words or at least I try not too. I try to be intentional in the things I say. I love using words to make people laugh and to bring people's spirits up. Too many times I find myself finding myself using my words to highlight the negatives in my life and so on. What I have been learning here is rethinking the things that come out of my mouth. One simple word can crush someone so quickly. Words of affirmation is my love language and I live that out every day. I really feel like I show people I love them by seeking them out and verbally telling them how much they mean to me. Writing simple notes of encouragement is something I strive to do. The funny thing about love languages is that even though you live out that love language in expressing it to others, you do not necessarily get it back that way. When I do receive that verbal affirmation it just means so much. Simple words of encouragement mean the world to me. Tonight I had that random act of love played out and it makes me think about how much I have. How lucky I am to be here in South Africa. It gives me hope and motivation to stay strong through my service site this week. I pray this week that I do not simply ask where God is in my frustrations at RivLife but am I going to be with God during my frustrations. Today one of our APU Professors that is visiting gave us a scenario. Saying rather than asking why isn't God with me in my day to day situations? But to ask am I willing to be with God and to follow him? That just hit me today. God is changing me in so many ways here, ways I never expected. 

Good Night South Africa!

Pushing through the hard times...

These past couple of days have been full of ups and downs. Especially yesterday was a hard one. What has been going on for the past couple of days is service sites and our global engagement class. Something that has been fueling my frustrations these last couple of days is lack of structure and planning. The service site I am currently with had been when I previewed it came off very structured and well planned. It is turning out to be not so true. While it is somewhat planned it is very much go with the flow. Now I some what knew this coming into the service site but I never intended for it to be this way. Last week we were strictly in the preschool which for me was frustrating because I signed up to be apart of going out into the community. The main reason I picked RivLife was the fact that I would be apart of support groups and such. As much as I was frustrated last week I kept my spirits up and continued to tell myself that it would change for the next week. 

Yesterday just started out a disaster. First off I missed the memo that we were to be leaving at 7:30 for our site than our usually 8 am call time. So I woke up at 7:20 and began to get ready when one of the girls on my team ran in and told me that they were leaving right now. I literally was in the middle of putting mascara on and was in disbelief and could only respond with are you kidding???? So I quickly ran out with my hair not done, one eye with mascara, no watch and soon came to realize that I had forgot the essential thing when working at a service site...DEODORANT! Now for me being caught off guard is not one of the thing I enjoy to much and the mornings is whole other situation. So originally we were to go out and do home visits that morning and I came to find that we needed to split into two groups. One would be at the preschool and the other home visits and we would switch on Friday. Well I ended up being in the group that was at the preschool. So again I had to hold my head up high and not get frustrated. Keep in mind at this point I was just not feeling the whole day. The thing that got me through that day was that it was a cool and that we did not have the blazing hot sun. I got separated from my group of two other girls and got put with the smaller kids of the preschool. All by myself I was to watch and instruct 12 two year olds. Whew...it was so scary. The lady that was suppose to help me ended up not so I was in charge of all these screaming out of control kids. My patience was for sure tested. Through it though I was able to just pray to God to get me through the day. Finally I had gotten to lunch and was able to unwind. We then went to the drop in center where the ladies who cook for us ended up being very blunt to me in a joke. For them it is culturally ok to say certain things when talking to people but what had been said just had hurt my feelings. I hate crying in public so I had to hold it in, the only thing was sucked was that I could go no where to be by myself. I ended up going out and playing some games with the older children to make the time pass. When I got back from that day I just collapsed and let it all out. I reminded myself that it is always a needed thing to have a good cry once in awhile. haha I was really happy to have people surrounding me through that rough day and being great encouragers. I thank God for that. 

After that I went for a good 3 mile run. It always amazes me that when your angry and frustrated you can run so fast! We had improved our time by 10 minutes. To get my mind off the day I went and saw The King's Speech. Which I thought was brilliant and inspirational. The movie was beautiful and I enjoyed it. I now know why it won best picture. 

So today I woke up a little weary about how the day would go. I promised to myself and God that I would give RivLife one more day. One more day to see if it could improve otherwise I would consider switching to another service site. I had been in a sad mood in the morning but was snapped out of it because our teacher for community engagement decided to join us all day. I told myself I can't be sad or he will know! I was some what encouraged when they told us that we would be going out to support groups all day. FINALLY the time had come. Needless to say today ended up being a great day and I will continue to stay there. What we did today was go out into the community to a lady's home where a group of gogos (Grandmas) meet once a week. They started the support group because many of them were sitting at home having nothing to do and lonely. So they come together and make crafts that they sell for income and also run a soup kitchen for the children who don't have food to eat during the days. At first it was sort of awkward we were all sitting outside this person house and not saying much. We introduced ourselves and asked questions but still it was pretty quiet. They have a garden out back and so we got to go back and take this intense gardening tool and cut down all the corn husks. It was so much fun. You got to get all your aggression out. After that me and another girl on my team were given the opportunity to make about 100 sandwiches for the soup kitchen. I love doing the simple things. For me doing things for people helps me feel like I am making a difference. After that I got to have my first traditional Zulu meal. I believe it is called Samp (?) and beans. Pretty much is mushed up corn and beans put together. It was actually really good. We also passed a jug of this cornmeal drink around and I was brave enough to try it. My germ freak side came out only imagining how many were being spread around. So I braved it and drank it. While that was going on a fairly new AIDS support group was meeting. We were not allowed to join in today because our teacher needed to assure them about a few things. Some of them were nervous about us joining in and hearing their stories. But my teacher Francis assured them that we would respect the things they needed to say. So next week we will be apart of it. I loved the gogos because they just love being around us. I cannot wait for next week for them to show us how to make all of the cool crafts. 

After that we went back to the drop in center where new cooking ladies came in today. I was able to have conversations with a lot of the workers and ask lots of questions. I even learned how to make Zulu bread. Which I cannot wait to try out when I come home. The day was full of hope and encouragement. I am excited for the weeks to come and to be more connected with the people of RivLife. Tomorrow we will be going to another AIDS support group. I have no clue what to expect but I am ready for anything. I continue to pray that God opens my eyes up to what I need to see and focus on. I pray that the days to come are filled with laughter and positivity. I know that he has me there for a reason and I need to be willing to follow what he has laid our for me. 

Good Night from South Africa

P.S. were halfway through the semester! Cannot even believe it!